Musings on Queues

On Queues

Queues an inevitable aspect of modern society, is Man’s ingenious innovation that serves various purposes.  It brings out the quirks, foibles and benevolence in humans even while it helps dispense a fair deal when many people want a particular service.

            We Indians have an easy familiarity with queues. We have queues for everything. Like Abimanyu who was imparted with the secret of the chakravyuham while yet to be born, an Indian child no doubt comes to understand queues while its mother waits at the obstetrician’s clinic several times for her checkup.  It is the precursor of all the queues that we may have to wait in after we are born – for provisions, vegetables at the stores, railway tickets, bus tickets, banking services, payment of electricity bills, telephone bills, municipal taxes, rations, insurance, school admissions, college admissions, and all the doctors’ clinics - general physicians, eye specialists, dentists, other specialists, and last but not the least is the queue to have a darshan of our Gods at our Temples. In fact to us, queue is the parameter to judge many things. If there is no queue, the doctor must be no good, the movie must be no good and the deity is benevolent and powerful only when the temple is crowded!

            As soon as we take our place in one, it is imperative that we take a good look at those who are with us.  It is imperative because we have to be wary of people with a malicious glint in their eyes as they could be potential queue jumpers.  Even if their eyes glint maliciously for some other reason, we do not lose anything by getting ready to defend our place.  Better to be safe than sorry. When your Body Language says that you are ready for the defense, half the battle is won.  Queue jumpers come in various forms.  Some wear a superior expression as if they are entitled to go ahead of the rest and some others appeal to the charitable instincts of others by wearing a woebegone expression. But, when they come all charged to muscle it out, it is prudent to step back. After all it is ingrained in our psyche to let bullies thrive.  But it need not always be a war zone. We may come across acts of kindness when someone volunteers to guard the place of an elderly person while he/she rests on a nearby seat or when a young mother rushes off to rein in a frisky child.  Within a space of a few minutes people soon bond in but always wait for someone in the group to take the initiative to speak out when a new queue jumper tries to barge in. When that happens, the person who takes the initiative is rarely left alone.  He / She will find solid support all around.

            The bonding happens more quickly when the person at the counter is found remiss or inefficient. Someone murmurs regret at the state of affairs and someone else seconds it and in no time everyone gangs up and throw dirty looks at the person manning the counter.    When the wait is quite long, there is no dearth of entertainment.  Indians have no qualms about speaking aloud on any topic among members of their group or with even strangers. Snatches of conversations or monologues can keep us occupied.  When there are several counters side by side, exchange of remarks between people in different queues also happen. 

When you decide to throw your lot with one of the queues where there are more than one counters, it is like backing the right or the wrong horse.  We wait with bated breath, to watch the movement of the other lines.  When the clerk at our counter suddenly gets off his seat or starts sipping a cup of tea our spirits plummet and when the clerk at the next counter does the same, a sense of triumph seizes us.  It is partly aided by the envious despondent looks of the people standing in the less fortunate queue. 

            And then there are queues which are deceptive.  In a few Doctors’ clinics we would be led to believe that our turn would come after a couple of people who had arrived earlier, pass.  It would sometimes prove to be futile as more important people who had fixed up their appointments over the phone or the medical representatives get to meet the doctor before you do.  The situation shall confound us even further if patients of several doctors are asked to wait in the same area.

In this era of hi – tech, we have to contend with one more queue.  We are often forced to call to Customer Service be it for banking, insurance or the service provider of our mobile or satellite television, or even hospitals.  We had better be prepared to listen to music between the recorded message that says “You are in queue, please wait, your call is important to us.. You are in queue..”

A real test for your patience!!

Or like the queue at Tirumala.  There the queues start at a single file and then suddenly we find two or three more people standing along with us. At various points through the numerous passages we find a fresh group of people joining us and we are no longer certain if there is a queue!  And quite near the sanctum after a near free for all,   It is often a matter of pride for many to hold forth on how long they waited  and there is yet another breed which eulogizes on how they have the power to  circumvent the whole thing !!